As you read this, I will have placed my life in the hands of Continental Airlines and be heading west to Las Vegas. I was invited to participate in the Association for the Promotion of Campus Activities (APCA) Showcase at the Mirage Hotel and Casino. This event is being held in conjunction with the Carnival Cruise Lines Comedy Challenge. There will also be military entertainment buyers on site (remind me to tell you what I think USO stands for sometime, huh?) as well as a rumored visit from a couple of HBO execs (I plan to ask them some tough questions about the cancellation of Lucky Louie and if they know how I can hook up free cable.)

So, even though I said I was through with contests, Big Al convinced me that this one was worth the trip. So, if I happen to win something, great. Otherwise I am going to schmooze it up and see if I can get a guest shot on Big Love.

I've been calling around trying to find a room at The Montecito, but no one can give me a number. Hmmm.

Don't get me wrong. I was pleased to be asked to perform at First Night Annapolis. It is a community focused event, right here in my adopted hometown. But I was also a little wary. I mean, I can work clean. I do corporate. I do churches! But this was going to be different. First Night utilizes non-traditional performance spaces and is open to audiences ages 1 to 100 (and I saw a few of both). I pictured myself in a used car lot staring at a brigade of strollers riffing on Chinese buffets. Seriously, comedy is so dependent on the environment in which it is presented. Bill Cosby said, "Stand-up comedy is the only endeavor where you can have EVERYTHING in your favor and still fail." This could have been a train wreck.

Turns out I had nothing to worry about. I was stationed in the County Council chambers. We averaged 160 people a show for five half-hour shows. Capacity was 170, so it was nearly a full house. The audiences were warm, receptive and especially well behaved...did I mention that First Night is an alcohol free event? I was all in favor of that idea. Turns out that they apply the same rule to the performers. Lucky for me, vodka's clear.

One note: The face painter assigned to my venue was late and there was a little princess who just HAD to have her face painted (at least that's what she kept screaming). I had a Sharpie, a modicum of artistic ability and the opportunity. I think the mustache looked good on her. Her Dad tipped me a buck, too.

I've got a pretty nifty new t-shirt on the way...but I've got to make room for them (and pay for them). So I will help do both by directing your attention to this existing inventory of merch. Trust me, once these items are gone, there won't be anymore. And don't look for them on Amazon or Cafe Press. I'm the ONLY guy selling this stuff. (Though I do have a report of one of my LOST stickers fetching $8.99 on Ebay!) Go figure.

This photo depicts a men's restroom at a Sofitel (a chain of five star hotels operated by Accor Hotels) in Queenstown, New Zealand. If you're prone to stage fright, this isn't going to help.

Wonder what the Ladies' Room looks like?